Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
