so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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