You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
