I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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