Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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