its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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