our cab driver is having phone sex.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
