i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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