This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
