is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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