I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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