i permit you to call me
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
a search helicopter?!
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
