don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
