what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
