When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
