so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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