Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
