My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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