Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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