Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize