Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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