yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
