sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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