Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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