:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
