I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
