I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
God, I missed his penis.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
