sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
