Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
