talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
