How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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