dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
