My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
