ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
