It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
