that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Randomize
