My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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