she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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