a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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