I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
it's not cheating when I paid for it
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
