at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
