I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
