Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
