Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
