they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
