Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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