Buhtt sex?
Fuck appropriateness.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
