Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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