The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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