omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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