I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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